Sleeping Around in London

Before I start today’s post, I must disclose.  I sleep some,  but not enough to think and walk at the same time. My 11-month-old still nurses through the night.  I get up when she cries at night because I want her to fatten up and grow long.  And, she is my precious baby after all. So, against medical advice (my physician sister-in-law looks out for me–  she thinks I need more sleep),  I sleep some and figure, someday I’ll sleep more. And besides,  I can always find a chair to land on if I feel a thought coming.

It turns out, you don’t need a set amount of sleep at precise intervals to think original  thoughts.  Creativity scholar Mihalyi Csikzentmihalyi found highly creative people work with their bio-rhythms.  They arrange their lives to sleep when tired but work when they’re sharp– regardless of hour.  My current baby-controlled schedule is not ideal ( i.e., running a 5k this morning seems impossible) but it’s not horrible for creativity.  I’ve had plenty of brilliant insights in between mid-night naps (unfortunately, I don’t always remember them by morning)  and I’ve found my sharpest hours seem to fall between 1:00 a.m. and dawn (if, I’ve slept early and deep the previous three nights).  I’ve made peace with my sleep issues and continue. My good friend Jennifer says, In a year, things will be different.  She’s right.  I can imagine longer nights a year from now.

Some friends– a high-flying London couple, are about to have their first baby.  She’s a novelist.  He’s a club DJ by night,  international lawyer by day.  Their spacious Hackney flat has plenty of space for the gear they’ll need and they both love kids. They’re more than ready;  they’re giddy non-stop with anticipation.  There’s only one small problem.  They love their current party-almost-every-night, sleep in, work late and do it all again life rhythm.  Last time I visited them,  the guy asked,

Do kids HAVE to go to bed early?  I mean,  that doesn’t make sense.  My sister is adamant.  She says, Just wait.  You’ll see.  Kids HAVE to go to bed super early. It’s just the way it works. But why would that be?  I mean, as long as they get the amount they need–  you know, like 8 hours,  or whatever.  Right?

I said,

I don’t know. I suppose you could convince your baby you live in another time zone–  you could carry around a full-spectrum light lamp in your diaper bag and shine it on your kid’s face at sundown.  And shut the blinds in her room in the morning,  so she still thinks it’s night. That shouldn’t be too hard–    days are pretty dark here in London anyway. I don’t know.  I haven’t tried it.

I don’t remember where our conversation went from there.  But now (two years later) I wonder if they’ll try to make the baby adjust to their time.  Will they lug her around London’s night-scene in a sound-proof bassinet?  I doubt it.  I think the novelist will nix any exceedingly silly plan.  But she is pretty flexible and does like to try things out.

In any case,  the man’s question is a good one.  Do babies need to sleep when 7:30 p.m. hits wherever they are?  I’ve always stuck to a traditional bedtime.  But, I’d love to watch the London couple trick their baby into sleeping exactly when they’d like her to sleep. If they pull this off,  they should write a book and I bet it would hit the bestseller list on Day 1.

Focusing on Other’s Expectations Inhibits Creative Development

Any healthy two-year-old knows when, how and by whom her driving passion to explore the world is blocked.  This morning, my two year old looked me straight in the eye and said, Now go away.  She knew I would curb her next experiment.

Earlier she cuddled beside me smiling, her cool bare toes wiggling against my leg as I read her The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything, for the fourth time. But then, my 5 month old woke up. The 2 yr. old said, Mama, I wanna hold the baby. Keeping a steadying hand at her armpit,  I sat the baby on the two-year old’s lap. The novelty tickled each some place inside the chest and they both giggled. The 2 yr. old’s smile faded, suddenly, when she noticed my hand on the baby. That’s when she looked me straight in the eye and said, Now go away.

My daughter identified me as a blocker instantly, before even imagining her next step. I laughed.  Calmly, she persisted, Now, go away.

The 2 yr. old outs who or what gets in the way of exploration, naturally. She persists in pursuit of ideas and dreams. But by age ten, many of us lose that confidence to say, Now, go away.

Creativity scholar, E. Paul Torrence identified the time when many children begin honing in on others’ expectations to the detriment of creative development as the fourth grade slump.  Some children Torrence studied never recovered from the fourth grade slump.

Of others in his 60 yr. longitudinal study of Creativity, Torrence said,

As they entered their late 20′s…many of the participants in the study were awakening to the fact that they had been wasting their own creative energies by playing the games that others had presented, rather than using their own creative strengths.

Many of them were [still] having difficulty in learning to free themselves of the expectations of others and to walk away from those imposed by their parents, teachers and others.

Highly creative people keep the 2 yr. old’s ability to spot creativity blockers. They focus on their dreams and ideas. The more creative the person, the more automatic the response to blockers, specially the blocks posed by others’ expectations.

Highly Creative people block the expectations set by others with the persistence of the two year old.

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