Courage to Make

The lovely lady who cares for my children when I work is peeved.  A few weeks ago her brother-in-law moved in with her family to live closer to work.  He cleans up after himself and makes pleasant conversation.  The problem is he’s often home first in the evenings but never starts a pot of spaghetti or tosses a salad. Instead he waits for his hosts to cook and serve him dinner.  They are just as tired and hungry as he is at the end of the day. He can see this. It makes him uncomfortable enough for my babysitter to notice.  He shifts in his chair. He almost-gets-up five-times-a-minute.  But he never learned to cook and now he is stuck between cowardice and lack of skill.  What should he do?  It’s obvious to his hosts.  He should learn to cook.

I’m reading Rollo May’s wonderful The Courage to Create and came across the following quote:

If you do not express your own original ideas and  listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.

Also you will have betrayed our community in failing to make your contribution to the whole. 

I thought about my babysitter’s brother-in-law’s failure to contribute for lack of courage to boil water.

This is where I am this morning, needing courage to contribute something to my community, something that is my own, that I have made or written. Like my babysitter’s brother-in-law I stand between cowardice and lack of skill.  Rollo May reminded me Creative work is about feeding my Self and about contributing .  If I do no creative work today I am letting more than myself down.  I am failing to make my contribution to the whole.

Courage to do creative work comes and goes with mental energy.  On days when I am lost my to-do-list (made in days past) saves me. It is my source of courage. Item #1 on my list: write three pages of long-hand dribble to get your mind flowing again.  So today I will carry my notebook and write when I can– no pressure, except to put ink to paper.

As for my babysitter–  she confronted her husband last night. You have to teach your brother how to cook, she said.

Today her brother-in-law will learn how to fry eggs.  He’ll write the steps so he can repeat the feat tomorrow without help.  Item #1 on his list:  Remove 4 eggs from fridge.

Sleeping Around in London

Before I start today’s post, I must disclose.  I sleep some,  but not enough to think and walk at the same time. My 11-month-old still nurses through the night.  I get up when she cries at night because I want her to fatten up and grow long.  And, she is my precious baby after all. So, against medical advice (my physician sister-in-law looks out for me–  she thinks I need more sleep),  I sleep some and figure, someday I’ll sleep more. And besides,  I can always find a chair to land on if I feel a thought coming.

It turns out, you don’t need a set amount of sleep at precise intervals to think original  thoughts.  Creativity scholar Mihalyi Csikzentmihalyi found highly creative people work with their bio-rhythms.  They arrange their lives to sleep when tired but work when they’re sharp– regardless of hour.  My current baby-controlled schedule is not ideal ( i.e., running a 5k this morning seems impossible) but it’s not horrible for creativity.  I’ve had plenty of brilliant insights in between mid-night naps (unfortunately, I don’t always remember them by morning)  and I’ve found my sharpest hours seem to fall between 1:00 a.m. and dawn (if, I’ve slept early and deep the previous three nights).  I’ve made peace with my sleep issues and continue. My good friend Jennifer says, In a year, things will be different.  She’s right.  I can imagine longer nights a year from now.

Some friends– a high-flying London couple, are about to have their first baby.  She’s a novelist.  He’s a club DJ by night,  international lawyer by day.  Their spacious Hackney flat has plenty of space for the gear they’ll need and they both love kids. They’re more than ready;  they’re giddy non-stop with anticipation.  There’s only one small problem.  They love their current party-almost-every-night, sleep in, work late and do it all again life rhythm.  Last time I visited them,  the guy asked,

Do kids HAVE to go to bed early?  I mean,  that doesn’t make sense.  My sister is adamant.  She says, Just wait.  You’ll see.  Kids HAVE to go to bed super early. It’s just the way it works. But why would that be?  I mean, as long as they get the amount they need–  you know, like 8 hours,  or whatever.  Right?

I said,

I don’t know. I suppose you could convince your baby you live in another time zone–  you could carry around a full-spectrum light lamp in your diaper bag and shine it on your kid’s face at sundown.  And shut the blinds in her room in the morning,  so she still thinks it’s night. That shouldn’t be too hard–    days are pretty dark here in London anyway. I don’t know.  I haven’t tried it.

I don’t remember where our conversation went from there.  But now (two years later) I wonder if they’ll try to make the baby adjust to their time.  Will they lug her around London’s night-scene in a sound-proof bassinet?  I doubt it.  I think the novelist will nix any exceedingly silly plan.  But she is pretty flexible and does like to try things out.

In any case,  the man’s question is a good one.  Do babies need to sleep when 7:30 p.m. hits wherever they are?  I’ve always stuck to a traditional bedtime.  But, I’d love to watch the London couple trick their baby into sleeping exactly when they’d like her to sleep. If they pull this off,  they should write a book and I bet it would hit the bestseller list on Day 1.

Twelve Great Literary Ladies, Twelve Valuable Lessons for the Writing Life– Guest Post by Nava Atlas

This wonderful piece first appeared a few days ago on SheWrites.com.  Nava Atlas has kindly agreed to this re-post on Creating Brains. Enjoy!

Learning how to stay disciplined, grappling with doubt, failure, and rejection, finding one’s voice, struggling to stay solvent—we’ve all dealt with these issues. It’s comforting to know that Charlotte Brontë, George Sand, Louisa May Alcott, and others did, as well. But in the end, it’s not so much about experiencing these obstacles that matters, but overcoming them. The twelve authors I focus on in my new book, The Literary Ladies’ Guide to the Writing Life, did just that, with much grace and determination.

In this book, the writing life is explored through the experiences of these classic women authors. Delving into their letters, journals, and memoirs, I found certain challenges were just as universal among those who eventually became literary icons as they are among today’s writing women, whether seasoned or aspiring. Here are twelve snippets of wisdom I gleaned from each of the Literary Ladies I’ve grown to know and admire:

Don’t be overly modest. In popular imagination, Jane Austen is a demure, frilly cap-wearing artiste, hiding her writing efforts under a blotter. In truth, her family recognized her talent and were invested in seeing her work in print, as was she. Austen was as keen on enjoying monetary rewards and finding an audience as the next writer—male or female. “I cannot help hoping many will feel themselves obliged to buy it,” she said of Sense and Sensibility. Of her most iconic female character, Elizabeth Bennett, she wrote, “how I shall be able to tolerate those who do not like her…I do not know.” Perhaps we ascribe false modesty to our literary role models to feel better about our own.

Honor the money you earn by writing. Louisa May Alcott was determined to make a living as a writer at a time when it was challenging enough for women to earn a living wage. She accounted for every penny earned and spent, and always tried to save for a rainy day. Once she became wealthy, after decades of toil, she wrote that she found her “best success in the comfort my family enjoy; also a naughty satisfaction in proving that it was better not to ‘stick to teaching’ as advised, but to write.”

Don’t sit idly by while your manuscript is being submitted. Keep working, like Charlotte Brontê did, as her unsuccessful first novel, The Professor, made its rounds. What she busied herself with was Jane Eyre, which found favor quickly and was an immediate sensation upon publication. Fortunately, she didn’t allow the “chill of despair” that set into her heart when her first effort “found acceptance nowhere, nor any acknowledgment of merit” quash her dreams of becoming an author. The Professor was published only after her death.

The only way to find your true voice is to write, write, and write some more. Willa Cather accepted that beginning writers, herself included, go through a stage of florid, overwrought excess. And the only thing to do is “to work off the ‘fine writing’ stage…I knew even then it was a crime to write like I did.” The only remedy is to “write whole books of extravagant language to get it out.” What you’re left with, once you’re no longer “smothered in your own florescence” is your own sharp, true voice and vision.

Guard your time jealously. Especially when we’re working on something that isn’t yet earning money, it’s easy to let ourselves off the hook and say yes to every request and any invitation that comes our way. But if you don’t value your writing time, others won’t either. Edna Ferber was a model of self-discipline. Heed her advice: “The first lesson to be learned by a writer is to be able to say, ‘Thanks so much. I’d love to, but I can’t. I’m working.’”

You can’t grow as a writer without taking risks. Madeleine L’Engle observed that “We are encouraged only to do that which we can be successful in.” How true for so many women, who don’t want to risk failure, to be anything other than good girls and A students. But L’Engle reminds us that “Risk is essential. It’s scary…Writers will never do anything beyond the first thing unless they risk growing.”

Keep rejection to yourself and don’t let it stop you. L.M. Montgomery experienced her fair share of rejection before the success of Anne of Green Gables: “At first I used to feel dreadfully hurt when a story or poem…came back, with one of those icy little rejection slips. But after a while I got hardened to it and did not mind. I only set my teeth and said, ‘I will succeed.’” Montgomery didn’t feel that she needed to share her “rebuffs and discouragements” with the world, but was determined to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Don’t be afraid that you’ll run out of things to say. Anaïs Nin recognized that within the fervent writer, there is an endless supply of material, if you allow yourself to go there: “The deeper I plunge, the more I discover. There is…no limit to the acrobatic feats of my imagination.” Brenda Ueland, author of the 1934 classic If You Want to be a Writer concurred: “If you are to be a writer who writes, you will never be finished…always there will be something more to write.”

Be passionate about writing—and living. Why do women live and write in such measured ways? George Sand wrote more than seventy novels, plus scores of plays, essays, and articles, all the while enjoying scads of lovers, traveling, and cross-dressing. She was a conflicted mother, but a doting grandmother. She never did anything by halves, in life or art: “I have a purpose in view, a task before me, and, if I may use the word, a passion.” Let’s all use that word more often.

Daily life is difficult, filled with disruptions, and occasional tragedy. Write anyway. Harriet Beecher Stowe  lost four of her seven children at various stages of her life; despite crushing grief, writing apparently kept her sane, and definitely kept her family solvent. Though she bemoaned constant daily disruptions, she vowed to write a book that would change the world. This she did by devoting “about three hours per day in writing … I have determined not to be a mere domestic slave…” The book that shook the status quo, of course, was Uncle Tom’s Cabin.

Don’t let lack of confidence stop you from writing. Edith Wharton struggled with lack of self-confidence, believing she would never be taken seriously in literary circles. She started by writing nonfiction, then tiptoed into short stories, always amazed by the doors opening to her. “My long experimenting had resulted in two or three books which brought me more encouragement than I had ever dreamed of obtaining,” she wrote. In her early days as a writer, little could she have imagined that Henry James would become one of her BFFs, valuing her friendship and correspondence as much as she did his.

Embrace the inner critic. Virginia Woolf’s inner critic was active and noisy. She allowed her doubts to bubble to the surface in her journal, but they drove her to do better, rather than crush her spirit. In one paragraph she mocked her own writing, “The thing now reads thin and pointless; the words scarcely dint the paper.” A few sentences later, she says, “…I am about to write something good; something rich and deep and fluent…” Similarly, when experiencing self-doubt, many of the other Literary Ladies let the inner critic urge them to do better. Inspired by the Literary Ladies, I’ve come to think of my inner critic as a wise editor or an honest friend who won’t let me do less than the very best I can at the moment.

Visit The Literary Ladies’ Guide to the Writing Life online.

Living the Creative Life — James Watson’s Take

How do you live the creative life? I’ve gleaned tips from some of my favorite Creators. For five days I’m writing about these insightful suggestions.  Today is technically Day 6– but I couldn’t help adding one more day of tips. Yesterday I wrote about Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice.

James D. Watson, co-discoverer of the double helix structure of DNA, recently wrote a book packed with advice for young scientists: Avoid Boring People and Other Lessons from a Life in Science . But it’s more than a how-to book.  It’s a great life story. I tried to read it to my children this morning (they lost interest rather quickly,  but that’s another post for another day).

Check out his advice below:

  1. Knowing “why” (an idea) is more important than learning “what” (a fact).
  2. New ideas usually need new facts.
  3. Think like your teachers not your peers.
  4. Seek out bright as opposed to popular friends.
  5. The sooner you narrow your creative interests,  the better.
  6. Keep your intellectual curiosity broad.
  7. Work on Sundays.  (More on this: Spending More Time at the Office).
  8. Exercise when you feel intellectually dull.
  9. Have a big objective that makes you feel special.
  10. Always have an audience for your creative work.
  11. Avoid boring people.
  12. Science is highly social.
  13. Leave a project or field before it bores you.
  14. Choose an objective apparently ahead of its time.
  15. Work on problems that take 3-5 years to work out.
  16. Never be the brightest person in the room.
  17. Stay connected to intellectual competitors.
  18. Work with a teammate who is your intellectual equal.
  19. Constantly share what you learn.
  20. Immediately write-up big discoveries.
  21. Travel increases your creative prowess.
  22. Be the first to tell a good story.
  23. Read out-loud what you write.
  24. Two obsessions are one too many.
  25. Don’t take up golf.
  26. Close competitors should publish simultaneously.
  27. Schedule as few appointments as possible.
  28. Never dye your hair or use collagen.

My favorites are #9, #11, #21 and #28.  What do you think?

*Don’t go away yet:  You may have noticed I’ve changed my blog’s look.  What do you think about that?  Is it better?  Worse?  In bad-taste?  Tantalizing?  I’d love to hear your opinion.  If you’re new here… I’d still love to hear what you think about my site, creativity…the Universe!

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